17-year-old Paul* was playing football with his friends when he first met the MOST team. Through different weeks of playing football and meaningful conversations, Paul shared his experience learning how to truly understand and know your friends.
Here is his story:
"A friend of mine that I was not really close with seemed a bit off. He seemed lost in school, was always zoning out, isolating himself, dozing off in class, and was dead behind his eyes. Whenever someone approached him, he switched up immediately and acted as if nothing had happened.
But I noticed it.
It wasn't easy but I mustered up the courage that I had and approached him to see if he was ok. He was sitting down quietly and staring at his phone. He wasn't doing much, just turning it on and off as if he was waiting for an important text or for something to happen.
At that moment, I resonated with and recognised what he was doing.
I felt the pain he was in. The kind that made every moment feel longer, the kind of loneliness and emptiness that you feel when you lose someone.
I approached him and said, “I noticed that you’ve been off these few days. Though we aren’t close, if you need somebody to talk to, I’m here.’'
He did not reach out to me.
A couple of days later, I decided to text him. It took time and reassurance to let him know that he had a listening ear in me. Pain has a way of making people feel like they are alone. But slowly, he began to open up. Bit by bit, but it was good progress. I told him I was proud of him.
He talked about the love he lost and how the closest person to him became distant.
The emptiness he felt confused him and he felt betrayed, even doubting the hope he had that everything might just go back to the way it was.
I knew that it was easier for him to open up over text, so I tried my best to acknowledge what he felt. Not giving any advice in between, but making sure that he knew I was there for him. Offering my presence and assuring him that he mattered.
Over a month, I noticed a significant change. I did not push him to move on but offered a listening ear whenever he needed it. I invited him to join my friend group activities and games and checked in regularly. The sadness did not disappear all at once, but he started smiling, laughing, engaging, and rediscovering joys that he thought were lost.
One day, he thanked me with gratitude. Saying how he would not know what to do without me and how he was glad that we got close because of that.
Showing love is not always about grand gestures or flashy displays of affection, it is also quiet moments of letting the person know you are there with them, listening to them through their darkest times. I knew in my heart that I was very proud of him.
For anyone reading who is going through a similar situation or knows someone who is, the smallest but meaningful gestures that you share, may make a significant difference that you may, or may not know it would.
We are not broken beyond repair, but it is the time we take to heal.
To be loved is to be seen."
We hope that you’ve been inspired by her story and see the significance of our belief in young people!
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of our youths.
Comments